This has worked for me from the time my babies were little to now attending school. You see the little ones are not cognitively developed enough to cope with the flood of emotions they are feeling. Firstly, this really helped me to understand that their tantrums are a normal part of growing up AND that what they need most is support through their stressful times. Our children will to learn how to manage stress from us, their parents.
Below is an excerpt from and exceptional book, "The Science of Parenting" by Margot Sunderland. I have experienced this first hand... it is absolutely magical!
"In order to activate the calm and centred branch in your child's autonomic nervous system, you need to quiet yourself down first. Breathing techniques are great. As soon as you do some effective deep breathing, your whole system will calm, and your body will start to send messages to your brain, telling it to stop pumping out high levels of stress chemicals."
What I noticed is that when I keep up my own breathing exercises they unconsciously understand that there is no danger and it gives them the ‘breathing room’ to relax and calm down as well!
When you find the emotions are running wild both your (child and you) try this, STOP everything! Ground yourself and take 3 big deep and slow breaths into your belly, expanding outwards. DO NOT engage your neck and shoulder muscles, this signals a flight or fight response to the brain. I will then hold my child and continue breathing deeply, generally 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out OR 3 seconds in and 6 seconds out, whichever is most comfortable.
If you find doing the breathing exercises difficult, it's worth checking out a breathing class near you and learn some quick, effective and soothing breathing methods!
Here's a link to the book if you are interested! Well worth it!
