Over this last week I have been feeling really irritable in the evenings. I was trying to figure it out. Am I due for my period? Well, I know that’s not it, so what is it? Even the girls feeling something polar because they jump from being loving to destructive with a snap of a finger! They have been quite exhausted and irritable in the evening and taking longer to calm down for bed. By the sounds of it I have been too! Even Shane has been reacting to the girls and that doesn’t happen often either. Naturally as the woman, I feel like I have to be the one to fix the craziness!
When it comes to the evening, I don’t (or should I say can’t) work because the kids are home from school. You might understand how it feels trying to get your task list done and make phone calls with two, high energy, little people running around!
So here we (Shane and I) are… tidying up, making dinner, doing the washing, intervening in sibling arguments, and ultimately containing my urge to scream. You know, a typical working mothers life. I have so much respect for single mothers! AND of course, it’s a full moon tomorrow! I don’t know what it is, but full moons are a crazy time in this house!
After I read a book to the girls, I sat on the end of the bed, frustrated. Wondering why the hell am I so irritated! The girls thrashed around for another half an hour, so instead of sitting there angry, I chose to try a new breathing technique. I wonder how I would be if I didn’t do my breathing? Well, actually, I’ll tell you. I’d be yelling and angry with anyone that came close to me! Finding some way for my upset to be their fault… but that’s another story.
Finally the girls fall asleep. I go down stairs to join Shane in cleaning up downstairs. I knew I was ready to have an ‘A-ha’ moment because I had already started questioning my behaviour. Well, it hit me! I have not been present in the evenings! Let me explain. I am finding that during the day I am fine because I am working on my goals and multiple task lists. The momentum feels like it is moving forward. This is a healthy amount of stress and it keeps me moving forward. However, when the little ones come home, the healthy stress turns into overwhelm.
All right, so why am I sharing all this with you? Well, to share with you my experience of stress and how breathing changed my life. The stress I am creating in the evening disrupts the natural flow of my life and creates overwhelm. Meaning, I want to keep working into the evening because I am desperate to make things happen. Almost like if I relax, things won’t get done and I won’t achieve my goals. What a paradox! It is this exact desperation that will completely undo me over time. This is not life balance. This is walking around in a stressed state wondering when it’s going to end or if it will ever end?!
So now what? Well… I have a choice. Do as I have done in the past or do something different. This is where I turn to my breathing, something different. Over the last few years I was the victim and blamed others for everything and life was miserable. Little do people know that breathing effects the mood. Change your breathing, change your mood. It feels so natural now to reach for my meditation pillow instead of a glass of wine in the evening. It has so side effects and if I have too much of it, I go to sleep easier and wake up feeling clear and refreshed instead of hung over! The proof that I keep finding is, ‘How you breathe is how you live’.
Start to breathe… start to live…
Follow our Breathe Me FB page to learn more about breathing or check out the book we wrote about regarding stress, it could change the way you view stress forever!